You know you have hit a new low when your start replying to spam email as a way to try and make a connection with someone…

From: Mr. John Addy . [mailto:ghana04@att.net]
Sent: Thursday, 31 December 2009 3:28 AM
Subject: Thank you in advance and may you and your family ever remain bless.

Mr.John Addy
Branch Manager
Standard Chartered Bank
Takoradi Ghana
Tel:+233-543-209-260
via:mraddyjh1@gmail.com

Esteemed Compliments,

I anticipate that you read this mail quickly and let me know your opinion or willingness on this classified information that I will release to you.

Firstly, I am a happily married man with 4 kids and therefore I would not want to jeopardize this opportunity to change my financial status that will give my family a secured future.

I am MR,JOHN ADDY, the branch manager of the Standard Chartered Bank Of Ghana, Takoradi Branch . I got your information during my search through the Internet. I am 46 years of age and married with 4 lovely kids. It may interest you to hear that I am a man of PEACE and don’t want problem, but I don’t know how you will feel about this, but I am telling you that this is real and you are not going to regret after doing this transaction with me. I only hope we can assist each other. But If you don’t want this business offer kindly forget it as I will not contact you again.

I have packaged a financial transaction that will benefit both of us, as the Regional manager of the Standard Chartered Bank Of Ghana, Takoradi Branch; It is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra-Ghana at the end of each year. On the course of the last year 2008 end of year report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the Manager made Nine Million Six Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollar [$9,650.000.00] which my head office are not aware of and they will never be aware of, Nor must they know that I am involved in this transaction.

I have since place this fund on what we call SUSPENSE OR ESCROW ACCOUNT without any beneficiary. As an officer of the bank I can not be directly connected to this money, so this informed my contacting you for us to work so that you can assist me in receiving this money into your bank account for us to SHARE, while you will have 35% of the total fund. Note there are practically no risk involved, it will be bank to bank transfer, all I need from you is to stand claim as the rightful depositor of this fund who made the deposit with our branch so that my Head office can order the transfer to your designated bank account. If you accept this offer to work with me, I will appreciate it very much. As soon as I receive your kind response, I will give you details on how we can achieve it successfully. Please to proceed with me in this transaction i will appreciate if you provide me this information mentioned below.

1)  Full Name:
2) Occupation:
3) Age:
4) Telephone Number/fax number:
5) Your Country of Origin:
6) Sex/ Marital Status:
7) Contact Address:
8) passport copy/ Driver License

Thank you in advance and may you and your family ever remain bless.

Yours truly,

MR,JOHN ADDY. 

From: Doyle
Sent: Thursday, 31 December 2009 4:44 PM
To: Mr. John Addy
Subject: RE: Thank you in advance and may you and your family ever remain bless.

 Dear Mr Addy

 Thank you for taking the time to contact me with your exciting business proposal.

As you have taken the time to let me know a little bit about yourself I think it’s only fair that you know a let bit about me before we get down to business.

I’m going through a bit of an emotional crisis at the moment as I have recently broken up with my girlfriend. I don’t want to bore you with details but suffice to say I fucked up, pardon my French.

I mean I’m sure you could appreciate John, I hope you don’t mind if I call you John? Having a long distance relationship can be tough, I was really struggling over the last couple of weeks trying to keep it together, and I was really feeling the strain of waiting for my UK visa to come through so I could go join her in London.

I’s been a very tough couple of weeks, I really miss talking to her. I’m sure you have that sort of relationship with your wife, where you just feel engaged and stimulated talking to her, I mean yes she did most of the talking and I just kind of listened but I actually listened to what she was saying, I was always engrossed with what she had to say.

It’s just disappointing John, we had our shares of ups and down but we always talked our way through them. Again I’m sure you can appreciate with 4 kids you and your wife must have some ups and down, but I’m sure it’s that open communication that gets you through those tough times. But she has just shut up shop, all communications have ceased, there just doesn’t seem to be a way back in this time.

Let’s get down to the proposal. There are a couple of things that concern me. Firstly I would have thought that head office would have a fairly good idea of your figures for the year, I mean in this technological age that we live in I imagined they would pretty much be able to track every transaction put through the branch.

And surely you need to record some sort of profit for the year. Won’t it be a little odd not to report any profit for the year, even in a year impacted by the Global Financial Crisis? I mean if you’re running the branch and you report zero profit aren’t they going to be showing you the door quick smart?

Dawn-Kwesi-Zaney (crazy eyes)

But look I Googled Standard Chartered Bank Of Ghana and the website looks pretty legit and I do have a good feeling about you John. But after looking at the website one thing did raise some further concern, Dawn Kwesi Zaney, Area Head, Legal and Compliance, West Africa and Company Secretary,this guy looks to have a dark heart, just  look at his eyes, there is just something about them. I don’t know if I want to cross this bloke, I think if he catches onto our scheme he will split us in two with a blunt hack saw.

So let’s get down to tin tacks, you mentioned we would share the rewards, well I kind of figured sharing would mean a 50/50 split. Look I know you have 4 kids to look after but I don’t think you have factored into the equation the living costs of Sydney. I’m struggling to keep my head above water at the moment John, I don’t even have a social life to speak of, I’ve got a pretty sweet deal staying at a mates and I’m still struggling to save.

In today’s economy $3,377,500 won’t get me far, I would be lucky to buy a 2 bedroom apartment in Kirribilli with views of the Sydney Harbour. I’m also assuming the figures you have quoted are in US dollars, well the Aussie dollar is just killing it against the Greenback at the moment, it’s almost at parity. I’m sure you would be able to live like a King in Ghana on $3,377,500 but it’s not going to cut it for me, let’s split it down the middle, $4,825,000 each.

So John if you agree to my terms I’m all in sounds like a great deal. Get back to me as soon as you can and we can put the wheels in motion.

Once the deal is done maybe we can organise to meet in Paris to celebrate our good fortune over a nice chilled bottle of Moet.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

DOYLE
Client Relationship Executive